As the calendar turns to a new year, we have an opportunity to reflect on our roles as parents and set goals for the coming months. New Year's resolutions can be a good start for our personal development and improvement, allowing us to focus on what is truly important for ourselves and our families. After some research and self-reflection, I found a few recurring goals/resolutions many parents are setting for themselves this year that can inspire us to create a more nurturing and harmonious environment at home. Let’s take a look at them together.
Strike the right balance between guidance and control, and let our kids progress at their own pace, one baby step at a time. This podcast gives great insight into what could be going on inside their little minds, why they respond, or not respond, to our advice in certain ways, and the importance of our trust in their judgment during various stages in their development. I think parenting is a challenging journey that must be approached with patience and understanding. With that, you will be able to respond calmly in difficult situations, fostering a more positive and supportive environment for our children to thrive with confidence.
In today's digital era, striking a balance between technology and other activities is critical. Although it is by now impossible to completely avoid screen time for our young children, we need to accept the fact that this generation of children is growing up with them as an integral part of their daily lives. However, there is research suggesting that when young children are leisure-reading from digital devices when they are still developing their reading skills, their comprehension level might not be as high as learning to read from printed materials. I guess the takeaway from this is that moderation is key when it comes to using electronic devices.
Photo: @vickieliliyan
We are all doing our best to reduce waste and be more environmentally responsible in our daily lives, I think we need to make more effort and extend this practice to the consumption of toys. The internet and online shopping opened up so many more possibilities for us to buy toys and gadgets for the kids. So many of these are impulse purchases that we think would be “cute” or “fun” for our kids to have, but they can have a much bigger consequence for the environment when our children lose interest in them or outgrow them after a short time.
As parents, it's natural to put our children's needs ahead of our own. Neglecting self-care, on the other hand, can lead to burnout and as a result, impair our ability to be the best parents possible. Getting enough shut-eye and having regular workouts are just some of the more obvious things we can do to keep ourselves fit mentally and physically. By focusing on our health, we can be in a better condition to take care of our kids.
Photo: @mrpaulfeinstein
I don’t mean playdates for your kids! But make time to meet up with your friends and connect with them socially again! Having kids doesn’t mean the death of friendships with your buddies in your pre-kids days. Spending quality time with your own friends as a couple with your partner, or a girls’ night out could do wonders to your morale and mental well-being. Everyone needs this social network of support to briefly take our minds off the daily stress of taking care of our families.
Adopting New Year's resolutions as parents can be a wonderful strategy to improve your parenting journey. Remember that resolutions are personal, so pick the ones that speak to you and tailor them to your situation. Accept this new beginning and embark on a year of growth, love, and connection with your children.
Stay Sparky in 2024!
]]>As parents, we want our children to grow up in a perfectly nurtured and positive environment, but at the same time, we must instill in them a broad understanding of the world. Thanksgiving is an excellent time to discuss the historical context of war, but it is also critical to address the ongoing realities of modern conflicts. We can help our children develop empathy, critical thinking skills, and a deeper appreciation for the peace we have by having conversations about the impact of war today. Although it is never easy to talk to children about war, it would be better for parents to help the little ones become aware of this subject with the correct guidance and attitude, rather than them coming across it from social media or overheard conversations among adults without the proper context. Let’s look at how to talk to our kids about modern war in relation to Thanksgiving while maintaining sensitivity and cultivating their understanding.
We should always consider the age and maturity levels of children before discussing modern war. Younger children may have difficulty grasping complex concepts, whereas older children can participate in more nuanced discussions. It is best to adapt our approach to their developmental stage, using books, language, and examples that are appropriate and relatable to them. We should be prepared to respond to their questions honestly and sensitively and don’t worry if you don’t seem to find the appropriate answer to their questions or concerns. What is important is that you are there to listen to what they have to say and to acknowledge their feelings.
It would be more effective to start by asking your kids what they know about war and its consequences. This can help you to assess their current knowledge and correct any misconceptions they may have since there is so much false information and misleading reporting on social media nowadays. It is so important to discuss war because it is such a complex and difficult topic for the kids to grasp by themselves. The focus should be on the humanitarian aspect of modern war and its impact on people's lives. Sharing stories about people and organizations that help and support those affected by conflict can give a more positive approach to the topic. Discuss the difficulties that refugees face, as well as the importance of compassion and empathy in times of crisis. Children can better understand the consequences of war and the importance of working toward peace by emphasizing the human element.
Thanksgiving is a great time to talk about how we can make the world a better place. We should encourage our children to consider small acts of kindness that they can carry out to make a difference in the lives of others affected by war. Discuss the significance of being grateful for the peace and stability we have and how we can express our gratitude by supporting organizations that help those affected by conflicts. We can help them develop empathy and a sense of responsibility for a more peaceful future by offering open conversations, emphasizing humanitarian aspects, encouraging critical thinking, and promoting acts of kindness and gratitude.
Happy Thanksgiving and Stay Sparky!]]>Halloween, the bewitching holiday filled with costumes, candy, and all things spooky, has captivated people for centuries. While many of us are familiar with the typical modern Halloween traditions, there are many different interpretations on the origin of them that add an extra layer of intrigue to this haunted holiday. Join us as we look into a few of these aspects of Halloween that make a great conversation topic with our kids while we dress them up in their cute costumes!
The origin of Halloween dates back to ancient Celtic folklore from Ireland and Scotland. The festival called Samhain, marks the day when the separation between the living and the dead is the thinnest. This is a time to honor their dead and to celebrate harvest. As Christianity spread across Europe in later years, it incorporated existing pagan festivals into its own calendar. October 31st became the eve of Catholic’s All Hallow’s Day, eventually evolving into Halloween.
One of the most beloved traditions of Halloween is dressing up in costumes. There are a few theories on where this tradition came from and one of them has its roots in ancient beliefs. During Samhain, the Celtic festival that preceded Halloween, people would wear costumes and masks to ward off evil spirits. They believed that by disguising themselves, they could blend in with the supernatural entities that roamed the earth on that night. Nowadays, the sky’s the limit when it comes to Halloween costume ideas! I always have so much fun making costumes for my kids when they were babies, nothing beats a cute DYI outfit made lovingly by mommy! Here are some cute ideas for 2023’s Halloween.
The tradition of carving pumpkins into jack-o'-lanterns has become synonymous with Halloween, but its origins can be traced back to an Irish folktale. According to the legend, a man named Jack, known for his trickery, was denied entry to both heaven and hell. As a result, he was doomed to wander the earth with only a lump of burning coal in a carved-out turnip to light his way. When Irish immigrants brought the tradition to America, pumpkins, readily available and easier to carve, replaced turnips.
One might think of a place called Sleepy Hollow when Halloween is near, however, but it has nothing to do with the origin of the festival! This link was attributed to Washington Irving's captivating story, "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow," which features elements of the supernatural, a headless horseman, and an eerie setting. These themes align perfectly with the spooky atmosphere and traditions commonly associated with Halloween, thus making the tale an enduring part of the holiday's lore. Snuggle up with your kids on the couch and watch this captivating shadow puppet short film on this legend to fully immerse yourselves in the spooky atmosphere!
While Halloween is widely celebrated in North America, the celebration and commemoration of the deceased happen all over the world at different times of the year. In Mexico, the Day of the Dead (Día de los Muertos) honors deceased loved ones with vibrant parades and elaborate altars. In Ireland, the birthplace of Halloween, the holiday is celebrated with bonfires, traditional games, and storytelling. In recent years, Halloween has also gained popularity in countries such as Japan, Australia, and the United Kingdom, with their own unique twists on the holiday. Halloween offers a fascinating tapestry of traditions and beliefs. As we indulge in the spooky festivities, let us appreciate the depth and diversity that make this haunting holiday truly unforgettable.
Stay Sparky and Spooky!
]]>Now that Summer is over and the family routine goes back to normal, we might find ourselves easing back to our sedentary lifestyle in front of the computer for hours at a time. The kids are also sitting down for class and homework more. One of the important elements of staying healthy during the flu season is to get enough exercise regularly. Incorporating fitness activities into your family routine not only can promote a healthy lifestyle but can also strengthen the bond among family members.
Involve everyone in the family when deciding which activities to pursue, taking into consideration each person’s interests, abilities, and preferences. My husband and I picked up boxing six years ago and it has become our weekly workout ever since. The kids would love to learn too, but due to their school schedule, they were not able to join our workout sessions on weeknights. But we made it a point to have some family boxing sessions whenever possible on weekends and when they have their long school holidays. They really enjoy them, after all, who wouldn’t want the chance to “spar” with their parents and try to get a punch through every now and then? 😉 I think this helps to establish a more “balanced” relationship between us as a family and encourages the children to be more self-confident.
Incorporate friendly challenges or goals into your family fitness routine. It could be completing a certain number of steps, improving a specific skill, or achieving a collective fitness milestone. Creating a sense of achievement and progress encourages motivation and engagement for the entire family. If your family is new to regular physical activity, begin with simple and achievable activities. Start with short walks or bike rides and gradually increase the intensity and duration as fitness levels improve. In order to get our family to move more, we started to replace short-distance car commutes in the city by walking. We got some resistance from the kids in the beginning, but once we got used to the exercise, we managed to increase the distance a little bit at a time. We then moved on to hiking on the trails, bringing our dog along and making it a family day out. So, setting realistic goals ensures a positive experience for everyone involved definitely helps.
Let’s make our family recreation more active by choosing activities that involve movement. Instead of watching a movie at home, consider swimming, rollerblading, or trampolining as options to keep everyone engaged and physically active. These sports not only provide an excellent workout but also offer opportunities for bonding and building trust. Try to vary the activities to keep things exciting, they also target different muscle groups and promote overall fitness. Why not unleash your inner dancer and let the rhythm move your family? Turn up the music and have spontaneous dance parties in your living room. Alternatively, consider enrolling in dance classes that cater to all ages and skill levels. Whether it's salsa, tap, hip-hop, or ballet, dancing not only improves cardiovascular health but also boosts coordination, flexibility, and self-expression. Plus, it's a great way to let loose, laugh, and create lasting memories together.
Family fitness activities are a wonderful way to spend quality time together while prioritizing your health and well-being, but as parents, we should lead by example. We can demonstrate our commitment to fitness by actively participating in family activities and maintaining our own exercise routine. Hopefully, our enthusiasm and dedication will inspire and motivate the children to also prioritize their health and well-being. So, get creative, have fun, and embark on this fitness journey together, creating fond memories and fostering a healthy and active lifestyle for the whole family.
Stay Sparky!
]]>As the summer draws to a close, it's time to prepare our little ones for another exciting school year. The flu season is approaching, with many speculations of it coming earlier than usual, it's best to take proactive steps to keep our toddlers healthy and minimize the risk of infections. Here are some simple suggestions to parents and caregivers to hopefully ensure a smooth transition into the school routine while safeguarding the children’s well-being.
Teaching toddlers good hygiene habits is crucial in keeping them healthy. After a few years of COVID experience, frequent handwashing was a regular part of our routine. But with life getting back to normality as the pandemic left us, our guard could be down again on maintaining personal hygiene. Now is a good time to give the kiddies a refresher course on the basics! Show them how to cover their mouth and nose with a tissue or their elbow when coughing or sneezing. Reinforce the concept of not touching their face, especially their eyes, nose, and mouth, to minimize the risk of infection. Encourage them to use their own water bottle and avoid sharing personal items to reduce exposure to germs. Regularly sanitizing the children’s frequently used items can also minimize germs and bacteria around them.
A healthy diet plays a significant role in strengthening the immune system. Let’s make sure the little ones eat a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins so that they get enough essential vitamins and minerals that support their immune function. Healthy lunches and snacks can ensure they're getting the right nutrients throughout the day, avoiding excessive sugar which can weaken the immune system. Get the kids involved in meal planning and preparation, so we can raise their awareness of healthy eating habits from a young age.
It is common knowledge that our bodies heal and revitalize during sleep which can help fight off infections, therefore, sufficient sleep is essential for our children's overall health. It is important to establish a consistent bedtime routine that allows for the recommended 10-12 hours of sleep per night. Try to create a calm and soothing environment to promote quality sleep. and avoid screen time before bed as it can interfere with their sleep patterns.
Check the vaccination record of your kids to ensure everything is up-to-date! The annual flu vaccine can be also a good way to minimize the chance of the little ones catching nasty cases of flu in the season. Then there are also the chicken pox (varicella) vaccinations that I personally think young school children would need because the chance of them being exposed to chicken pox at school or daycares is really high. Vaccinations are a critical preventive measure that protects against various illnesses and it is best to discuss this with your kids’ pediatrician to make the best decisions for them.
As we gear up for another school year, prioritizing the health of our little ones is of utmost importance. With good hygiene practices, a nutritious diet, adequate sleep, and staying on top of immunizations, we can help our kids stay healthy and resilient in the face of the upcoming flu season and school year.
Stay Sparky!]]>The kids have such a long Summer holiday that taking a family trip somewhere usually can only fill up part of it, while camps and other sports activities for the rest of the time can be costly. So, if we don’t want the kiddies to stare at the screen for the rest of their break, we need to come up with more home activities and hobbies to fill up their time. *Sigh*, the first day of school seems still so far away! This got me thinking back on how I spent my summer holidays when I was a kid, before TV streaming, the Internet, and Social Media existed. Actually, many of these toys still exist and are very good entertainment alternatives to phones and tablets. Here are some of them and maybe they can give you and your kids a few ideas to fill up your summer days with family fun the old-fashion way!
When it comes to my most memorable toy growing up, it has to be Barbie! The live-action movie that comes out this summer brings Barbie back into the limelight. Looking at the history of Barbie and the controversies that followed this doll through the years, it has come a long way. From having a very stereotyped image of a blond, white girl with an unrealistic body shape that only had “feminine careers”, Barbie and her friends have evolved into a family that embraces diversity in race, beauty, and gender roles. Initially, I was a bit reluctant to let my daughters play with it when they were young. But I thought if I explained to them the story of Barbie and her evolution through the years in the context of women’s rights and diversity, the children would look at Barbie in a different light and appreciate her in a more meaningful way than just being a dress-up doll.
An alternative to switching on the TV or playing a computer game, a family can always count on the good ole board games! They promote family bonding and encourage social skills in the “traditional” way (no hiding behind the screen and communicating by text messages). My favorite used to be Pictionary, and there is the children’s version that even the younger members can play too! There are so many new games in recent years that the choices are practically endless, with various themes such as adventure, sports-related, or trivia. I prefer the kind of board game that the players need to work together to solve a problem or to achieve a goal (instead of having the player compete against each other), so that the family can work together as a team.
Last but not least, there are crime-solving or mystery detective games that the whole family can play together! You can even create your own to play with younger kids and start helping them develop problem-solving skills early on! These games encourage the kids to approach the “case” with an analytical mind, think out-of-the-box, and learn to work with others to improve their social skills. There are so many really cool toys that we have grown up with in the 80s and 90s that our kids would still love to play with, that they would gladly lay down their electronic devices for! What else would you recommend?
Stay Sparky!]]>Summer is a time for kids to enjoy the great outdoors and soak up some vitamin D from the sun. Nothing beats the sight of happy little kids running around, swimming, and enjoying an ice cream in the Summer sun! However, with the increasing risk of skin cancer and other harmful effects of UV rays, sun protection has become more important than ever. We all know the basics of sun protection for ourselves, but when it comes to taking care of delicate baby skin it never hurts to look beyond the obvious.
Of course, sunscreen is the most important tool for protecting your child’s skin from the harmful effects of the sun. Before I became a parent, sunscreen was just something you need to slather on when you are about to fry yourself by the beach, and you can forget about it for the rest of the day once you have put it on in the morning! Now that I am a mom and am super aware of how sensitive a baby’s skin is, I need to learn more about it before putting it on our kids. Apart from applying the sunscreen 30 minutes before going outside and reapplying often or after swimming or sweating, we should also find out if the sunscreen we chose is suitable for babies younger than 6 months old. Or, what is the expiration date of the bottle I bought last Summer, and can I still use it this year?
Apart from dressing the little ones in lightweight, long-sleeved protective shirts and pants that cover as much skin as possible, complete with brimmed hats to protect the head and neck, we should also avoid exposing them to the strong summer sun for long periods at a time. There are some very cool outdoor toys and tents precisely to help entice the children to play in the shade, being outdoors doesn’t need to mean being in the sun all day! Another great way to switch around your schedule and visit the pool or beach towards the late afternoon, both to avoid long sun exposure and the crowd. This mom has gotten this “Backward Beach” schedule working wonderfully for her family.
Nothing is more deceiving than a cloudy day when it comes to sunburns! UV light can still get through the cloud and you only realize you have been burned when it is too late! So, keep applying sunscreen or wear protective clothes on a cloudy day if you plan to stay outdoors with the kids for a long period. In the unfortunate case that your little one is suffering from sunburn, get them indoors as soon as possible and cool down their skin by running cool or room temperature over the burned area. Here are some useful tips on what to do and what not to do in case of sunburn.
Children are particularly vulnerable to sunstroke because they may not be able to recognize the early signs of heat exhaustion and may not take the necessary steps to cool down. Encourage your child to drink water before, during, and after outdoor activities and throughout the day. Dehydration can increase the risk of sunstroke and other heat-related illnesses. We should also be aware of the symptoms of sunstroke (which can include fatigue, weakness, headache, dizziness, nausea, and muscle cramps) and look out for them so we can intervene as early as possible. Always bring along some sports drinks with electrolytes to replenish what the children have lost through excessive sweating. If possible, bring your drinks in a cooler with ice packs in it so that in case of heat stroke, you can also use the ice packs to help cool your child down by applying them on their neck or armpits. If your child's symptoms don't improve or if they develop more serious symptoms such as confusion, seizures, or loss of consciousness, seek medical help immediately.
Children learn by example, so make sure you’re setting a good example by practicing sun safety yourself. Wear sunscreen, protective clothing, and hats, and seek shade when possible. Encourage your child to do the same.
Enjoy the sun and Stay Sparky!
]]>Becoming a father is a significant life-changing event for men because it is a time of excitement, joy, and new responsibilities. However, it is not without its challenges when transitioning into fatherhood, and the new father’s psychological needs are often overlooked. So, this blog post is dedicated to all fathers who have braved this experience and new fathers that are currently taking on this challenge. You are not alone and we appreciate your effort!
I think for new mothers since they have 9 months to prepare themselves mentally and physically for the arrival of their baby, it is more natural for them to bond with their newborns from the first day. Their mother instinct kicks in the moment their baby latches on to their breast. But for men, I can imagine that this new family dynamics could feel like a sudden one no matter how they would have imagined it during their partner’s pregnancy, and bonding with their newborn child does not seem as natural as they thought. In fact, it is quite common among new fathers to feel insecure and lonely during this period, so much so that there are many studies on the psychological well-being of men in the first few months of their role as fathers.
Many new dads may experience feelings of anxiety, stress, and depression when they first become a father. Apart from wanting to make sure the mother and baby are getting everything they need and worrying about the risk of postnatal depression for his partner, there is also the pressure of being a good father, provider, and role model for his child. They may feel like they have lost their identity or sense of self, which can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness because it is common for men to internalize their fears and sense of insecurity. But Dads, this can increase your risk of suffering from male postpartum depression if you keep sweeping your feelings under the rug. It is incredibly helpful for new dads to come out of your shells and talk to other fathers who have experienced postpartum depression. It can help you feel less alone, provide a sense of community, and offer practical advice for coping with the condition.
Taking care of yourself is essential when you're dealing with the stress of fatherhood. This might mean taking a break from your daily routine to engage in activities that you enjoy, such as exercising, reading a book, or spending time with friends. Other calming activities can also help recharge your energy, this might include practicing relaxation techniques, like meditation or deep breathing, or stress-reducing activities, such as yoga or massage.
Your relationship with your partner might not be the same anymore now that you have your little bundle of joy because there is a shift in priorities and responsibilities. It's important to communicate openly with your other half about each other’s feelings. Only an open communication can help you both to give each other the support you need and to function well as a family.
Becoming a father is a life-changing event that comes with its own set of challenges. However, with the right support and resources, you can overcome these challenges and thrive as a great dad and a loving partner. It is essential to seek out support from family, friends, and even professionals to help you navigate the challenges of fatherhood. You got this, Dad!
Happy Father’s Day and Stay Sparky!
]]>Summer is almost here and it’s time to think about what to do with the kids this Summer holiday. Remember the days of “carefree” holidays with just you and your partner? Now that you are a family with a couple of toddlers following your every step, the thought of traveling with them can be intimidating. Being parents of babies or toddlers doesn’t mean you need to be tied down by them and have to give up those travel adventures. While it may require more planning and preparation, you should bring the kiddies along and explore the world with them as early as possible!
Apart from the obvious benefits of exposing your children to new languages, cultures, and experiences that can broaden their horizons, you are also having quality family time away from the routines of everyday life. You can take a break from the mundane and daily stress of home life and just enjoy each other’s company and give the children your undivided attention without distractions. Additionally, this is the perfect occasion to encourage them to have an open mind on new foods and flavors they have not tried before, such as local specialties, street food, and exotic fruits.
For a successful family trip abroad, here are a few tips you can consider when planning your holiday adventures with the kids that can hopefully make your travels with young toddlers more enjoyable and stress-free.
Based on your itinerary, the climate, location, and activities in your holiday destination, pack accordingly. Make a list of essential items, such as diapers, wipes, snacks, booster seat, and toys, and pack them in a carry-on bag. Book child-friendly accommodations, such as hotels or Airbnb rentals that provide cribs, and other amenities for young children. Bring along some new small toys (so the kids don’t get bored by them too soon), books, and games to keep your toddlers entertained during the trip. Pack some basic snacks that your kids like with enough to start off your trip for a couple of days, then you can find similar ones or other local treats to replace them as your holiday progresses. This can ease the children slowly from things they are familiar with to something new.
I used to adhere to screen-time limits for our kids religiously when they were at home, but in those long-haul flights, I had to throw those limits out the plane window! As long as the kiddies got a few hours of shut-eye during the flight, they can enjoy their favorite cartoons or other programs they normally don’t get at home on the flight. One more thing to get them excited about flying! Trying to maintain your toddler's routines as much as possible during the trip can help them adjust to the new environment. However, traveling requires a certain amount of flexibility from the family, be it nap time, snack choices, or sleeping arrangements. This is actually a life skill that the kids can learn at a young age because flexibility and adaptability are essential to their personal and professional growth. When you are stressed about not being able to stick to the routine, your children get stressed too! So, do be prepared to “go with the flow” when it comes to scheduling and menu options, after all, let yourselves relax a bit (with good judgment) on your holiday.
Consider booking direct flights or flights that are scheduled during your toddler's nap time to minimize disruptions to their sleep schedule. But be prepared for unexpected delays or disruptions, such as flight cancellations or traffic jams. Bring extra clothing, diapers, and snacks, just in case. Be patient and understanding, and try to keep a positive attitude, even when things don't go as planned. Hakuna Matata, all will be well!
Traveling with young toddlers can be challenging, but it can also be a wonderful and memorable experience. Embrace the opportunity to explore new places, learn new things, and create lasting memories with your family. Don’t be too ambitious, plan for regular breaks and playtime, which can help your toddler burn off energy and reduce restlessness. Take lots of photos and videos to document your travels, and involve your children in the experience as much as possible. Let them help plan activities or choose restaurants, which can help them feel more involved and engaged. You may be surprised at how much they can learn and grow from the holiday.
Stay Sparky and bon voyage!
]]>Eating out with toddlers can be a daunting experience for parents. From unpredictable tantrums to picky eating habits, there are numerous challenges to overcome. Despite that, we used to bring our babies along to all sorts of restaurants and eateries from very early on. For us, it was the best way to merge our social life with our family life when we hung out with friends and their babies at similar ages as our kids. It is also best to get the kids used to dining out with you from a young age before they become toddlers. However, I do remember the kind of preparation and planning that entailed when we brought our little ones out for meals. After a few practices, with a little bit of planning and some handy tips, you can turn your dining experience into an enjoyable and stress-free outing. Let’s look at some of the most common challenges parents face when eating out with toddlers and the kind of practical solutions we can use to ensure a pleasant mealtime for everyone.
One of the first challenges parents encounter when eating out with toddlers is finding a suitable restaurant. Not all eateries can accommodate the needs of young children, making it essential to choose a location that is both kid-friendly and enjoyable for adults. I think it is important to understand if the restaurant has a basic setup for kids, namely highchairs. It doesn’t need to be a deal breaker if the restaurant doesn’t have them, but you just need to know ahead of time to go prepared by bringing your own booster seat.
Toddlers can be notoriously picky eaters, which can make ordering meals a challenge. Additionally, some restaurants may not offer a variety of healthy and appealing options for young children. It is therefore best to look up the restaurant’s menu ahead of time and see if you can find something that your child might like. If not, try to ask if the restaurants can make small modifications to the dishes, they usually are more than happy to make an effort to please their littlest guests! As backup, bring along some healthy snacks, like vegetable sticks or small crackers just in case.
Babies and toddlers have short attention spans and may become restless if they have to wait too long for their meals and potentially disrupting the overall dining experience for everyone. Try to select restaurants that are more efficient or avoid peak dining hours so that you can get served faster. When our daughter was around 1 year old, we would occupy her time by putting small breadcrumbs from the breadbasket of the restaurant in front of her. She would use her tiny fingers to try to pick up the crumbs one at a time and eat them! That could get her occupied for almost the entire meal, and great to train her motor skills too!
Public tantrums and outbursts can be a major concern for parents dining out with toddlers. Young children may become overwhelmed in unfamiliar environments, leading to unpredictable behavior. Having something familiar with them can help them feel more at ease, for example, their own portable booster seat or their own set of dining utensils tend to help. Getting them entertained is also an important way to help them pass the time in the restaurant. It is too easy to pull out our own smartphones or a tablet to keep them occupied with the screen. But maybe you can consider bringing a few quiet toys or activities instead while waiting for their meal, after all, it is a family outing and it is the perfect time to play a few games with the kids and get them engaged with you at the dinner table.
Navigating the challenges of eating out with toddlers may be intimidating, but with experience and planning, you will soon find it easy to create a positive dining experience for the whole family. Your kids will get used to the routine of going to a restaurant and learn how to behave when dining in one and things will get much easier as they grow!
Bon Appetit and Stay Sparky!]]>As Mother’s Day draws near, I reflect on my role as a mother to my kids and what I have learned from this experience so far. Becoming a mother is a life-changing experience that comes with joys, challenges, and surprises. While every woman's journey is unique, there are some things that I think many moms wish they had known (well, at least I do!) before they embarked on this journey. Let us explore a few key things that could help moms-to-be to better navigate motherhood from day 1.
Many women assume that being a mother comes naturally, but the truth is that it's a learned skill. I am sure I am not the only one who felt no mother instinct whatsoever during the first few months of my baby’s life. I still remember not knowing how to hold her when the nurse put our newborn daughter in my arms after I gave birth! I felt totally overwhelmed, anxious, and unsure of what to do when we brought our baby home. The sense of helplessness was overwhelming when I held my screaming newborn baby and not knowing what was wrong or how to make her stop. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to motherhood, and it's essential to give yourself grace and time to learn and grow.
We are not superhumans that can never get tired or sick and are eternally in the best shape mentally and physically. It is especially demanding when you are a mother. Too often we are putting our own needs last, but self-care is essential for your physical and mental well-being. Taking time to care for yourself is not selfish, but rather a necessary aspect of being a good mother. Whether it's taking a bubble bath, going for a walk, or reading a book, find ways to prioritize your self-care. Children are very intuitive to their parents’ moods and it is better for them to be around a more relaxed parent than a constantly super-stressed one.
Navigating a long-term relationship with your partner takes effort on both sides. It's important to communicate openly, set realistic expectations, and make time for each other. After becoming parents, maintaining a healthy relationship becomes even more vital because having a child can significantly impact the dynamics between you and your significant other. I think it's natural for your relationship to evolve, but it doesn't have to be for the worse. In addition to sharing a life together, you also are partners in bringing up the beautiful human being(s) you have created together!
One important thing I have learned as a mother to my kids is that I should not be afraid to apologize to them when I made a mistake. As a mother, I am learning this role on-the-job with no prior experience to lean on. So, it is normal for me to sometimes overreact, or be too quick to criticize when the little ones did something “wrong” in my eyes. I hope to set a good example for my children to own up to their mistakes and by admitting to them we are on our way to self-improvement.
Before our second baby was born, I thought babies are like blank pieces of paper when they were born and that it was up to us to teach or mold them into as decent a person in the best way we know how. But I was so surprised to notice how different in personality and temperament our daughters are since the moment they were born! I finally understood the true meaning of the saying, “Every child is different, and what works for one may not work for another”. It's essential to understand that my child is unique and to be patient and flexible as I learn what works best for them. Though not easy at all, I try not to compare my children to one another or to other kids their age. Rather focus on each child's individual needs and strengths and support them in the way they need me to.
Becoming a mother is such a fulfilling and enriching experience that comes with its highs and lows. Each stage in our child’s life is another learning opportunity for both mother and child, so we can grow together. Bombol wishes all moms, mother figures, and moms-to-be a wonderful and relaxing Mother’s Day!
Stay Sparky
]]>In a week’s time comes Earth Day! How are you going to celebrate it with your little ones this year? There are so many meaningful activities to do together as a family, but what interest me the most are always those involving crafts with recycled materials. Single-use items, such as plastic bags, water bottles, and straws, are major contributors to waste and pollution. Apart from using less of these polluting materials, we can also make more effort in reusing or up-cycling as much as possible. Here are a few ideas on crafts that are fun to do with the kids and you can turn scrap materials into useful objects again to give them a second life.
These are great alternatives to single-use ones when you go grocery shopping. There are so many different ways to make reusable bags for every occasion from easy produce bags for fruits and veggies to pillowcase bags for daily use. All you need are some old T-shirts or some fabric scraps, and it is a fun and easy project that the whole family can participate in.
Another great way to use those old T-shirts that your kids have outgrown or stained is to make a rug or two out of them!! What a great way to teach yourself (and your kids) the art of crochet, by a hook or by fingers! Get those little digits working and the little ones will feel so accomplished when they see the result of their hard work on display right at your doorstep.
Wherever there are young children there will be half-used crayons! There are so many tutorials on the internet teaching you how to recycle remaining stubs of crayons that are too small to draw with or that your kids discard after a few uses. But this particular idea of making them into the likeness of our planet from emmaowl.com is a meaningful way to teach the kids about reusing and recycling their own toys on this special day dedicated to the Earth.
What more can we do with paper that has already been used on both sides or scraps of craft paper left over from some creative projects of the kids? Let’s make recycled paper turning these scraps into a pulp and teach the kids about the art of papermaking. It is a lot of work and a delicate process, but the result is the beautiful hand-made paper that the children can use again to make more artwork from it!
Above are just a few artsy ideas to remind ourselves and our kids about the finite resources we have on our planet on Earth Day. As a family and society, our daily actions are still the best way to make a positive impact on the environment and a constant reminder to ourselves about the importance of sustainability. For more Earth Day activities that are planned in your city this year, check out this global map on the website of https://www.earthday.org/earth-day-2023/. I am sure you will find a meaningful activity to join in your community no matter where you are. Let’s make a difference and contribute to a more sustainable future together.
Stay Sparky!
]]>In recent decades, global diversity has brought many biracial or multiracial families together, and my family is one of them. Having a Belgian father and a Chinese mother, our two daughters were exposed to two very different cultures from day 1. My husband and I want to make sure that they would grow up having both Western and Eastern cultures melting together in their daily lives. Hopefully, this way they can live in an environment that celebrates diversity and encourages them to embrace their rich ethnic backgrounds with confidence and ease.
I do believe that one’s cultural heritage often lays the foundation of one’s moral code and values in life. Therefore, I think one of the most important things we need to teach our multiracial kids is to celebrate the various cultures of their families. This means learning about history and traditions and incorporating them into daily life. The easiest thing to start with is traditional celebrations and the food that is linked to them! Since we live in Hong Kong, we are so lucky that we celebrate both Chinese and Western festivals. We used these occasions to introduce our kids to traditional folklores and foods, be it rice dumplings during Dragon Boat Festivals, or the chocolate egg hunt orchestrated by the Easter Bunny. By embracing all aspects of your child’s background, you help them develop a strong sense of identity and pride in their heritage.
As our children get older, I encourage them to explore their identity and heritage. Living in Hong Kong expose them more to the Chinese culture in their daily experience. So, during extended holidays we would send them to Belgium to stay with their grandparents so that they can be fully immersed in the Belgian way of life too. They can improve on their Flemish language skills, visit the country where their paternal family is from, and learn about the historic background of their ancestry. By learning about both cultures in depth, the children can develop a deeper connection to their heritage and a stronger sense of self.
We are really lucky that we live in a relatively open-minded and international city that historically it is a place where East meets West. Mixed race families are not rare and there are so many schools and communities that embrace racial diversity. Unfortunately, in many parts of the world, multiracial children may face discrimination or prejudice because of their background. For our girls, once they grow up and start venturing out on their own, they will face similar challenges too. It’s therefore important to address these issues head-on and teach our kids how to respond to them. This might involve discussing the history of racism and discrimination, as well as teaching them strategies for dealing with prejudice. Hopefully, we can help our children develop resilience and confidence in themselves.
Raising multiracial children can be challenging but rewarding. By celebrating diversity, teaching them about their identity, encouraging interest and curiosity about their heritage, and mentally preparing them for racism and discrimination, we can help our kids develop a strong sense of identity and resilience. Our older daughter always finds it amusing when asked “where she is from” and she would reply, “Do you want the short answer, or you have half an hour to spare for the long one?”
Stay Sparky!
]]>Going from diapers to “big kid underwear” is one of the most important milestones for a child and the timing really depends on the individual development (both mentally and physically) of the kid. According to experts, a child could start potty training from around 18 months, some might need a bit longer, up to three years of age until they are developmentally ready. However, each child is different in terms of when they are physically and emotionally ready for potty training. Take my youngest daughter for instance, she was insisting to change her own diaper at the age of 15 months, and we’re not even using the pull-ups yet! Well, I guess I mistook her sense of independence as physical readiness to start potty training. She ended up sticking with the diapers until she was almost 4, yes, it was a long journey for all of us!
When your baby reaches the above age range, I am sure you will see signs that they could be ready for potty training. They might be showing an interest in the potty, showing discomfort when they have a wet or soiled diaper, or wanting to wear underwear just like their older sibling. However, no matter how attractive the idea of not having to lug around the changing pads and extra diapers, if your child is resistant or not quite ready, don't force it and maybe try again in a few months.
Once your child is ready, potty training can start in earnest! Here are some tips for potty training success:
Let them be involved with the whole process, from choosing their own little potty to shopping for their first pairs of underwear. Get them excited about taking this big step and own up to it!
There are suggestions for putting your baby on the potty at various times of the day, after meals, or before bedtime. I guess that really depends on the internal clock of the child. However, the key is to be consistent so that it becomes routine for them, even just for a couple of minutes.
There is always a learning curve for every new skill, potty training is the same. Your baby might have doubts or a lack of confidence after a couple of little accidents. The last thing you want is the stress out your little one, so it is helpful to understand what the reasons for the setback could be.
Be prepared to grab your kid and run for the potty at any waking moment! This is where your hyper-observant parent superpower comes in handy. Our first daughter used to show signs of bowel movement whenever she was relaxed, usually while sitting in her bouncer. So, whenever I saw that spaced-out look on her face I would be ready. And then when her face started to turn red, the sign of a “poopoo push”, I would pick her up and sprint to the potty in record time! With practice and consistency, hopefully, they will learn to associate the signs with the need to go to the bathroom.
Photo: @artsymamalife
Once your child has mastered their potty skills during the day, it is time to graduate to the last stage of the journey: night training! This next step may take additional time and patience for both parents and child. Unfortunately, there is no short cut and accidents are bound to happen. So, the most useful tip for this part is to speed up the sheet-changing process in the middle of the night to the minimum. Always put 2 layers of sheets and mattress protection: start with a mattress protector, then a sheet, another mattress protector, and another sheet on the top. This way when accidents do happen, you only need to strip away the first sheet and protector, change your baby out of the wet clothes, and everyone can go back to bed! See, no big deal! When your child sees that you are handling the accident with ease and calm, along with your encouragement, they will succeed at being potty trained at night with less stress.
With lots of love, consistency, patience, and positivity, your child can definitely succeed in the potty training challenge. While occasional accidents can be discouraging, your kid's sense of accomplishment and independence will make the effort worthwhile. And, yay, you can finally say goodbye to the bulky diaper bag!
Stay Sparky!
]]>Remember the excitement of decorating your first home together with your partner? You put so much effort into creating a beautiful space that reflects your personal style, featuring memorabilia from holidays and heirloom furniture from grandparents. Then you have your first child, and you soon find your home dominated by bright plastic toys and furniture pieces, making your little nest look like a preschool rather than a home. But with some careful planning and creative ideas, designing your home to be both stylish and kid-friendly should not be an impossible task. The feature posts by Design Mom Gabrielle Blair, give great examples of how families with young kids can have gorgeous yet practical homes.
For furnishings that you use every day that can withstand the daily abuse of being jumped on, spilled on, and sometimes even drawn on, durability is key. One of the great pieces of advice I came across is the importance of outdoor materials used for indoor furniture. With the advancement of technology, synthetic water-proof materials are now more sophisticated both in terms of texture and design. This way, your couch can actually be hosed down if necessary and can be more resistant to spills and stains! Consider using scratch-resistant flooring materials, like stained hardwood or tile for a stylish look, and they age well too! If you would like to place some kid’s furniture in the living room, go for neutral colors so they can blend in with the rest of the adult furniture around.
It is unavoidable that along with kids come a lot of toys, crafts, books, and more. Without proper and clever storage solutions, your home will become cluttered before you know it. For example, colorful baskets are perfect for stuffed animals, or Grandma’s antique chest is both practical and visually appealing and can hide a good amount of craft materials. An Ottoman with built-in storage serves as a great toy box and a corner-free coffee table at the same time!
One of the best ways to make your home feel kid-friendly is to include a little play area in the common space so that the kiddos can call it their own. It doesn’t need to be big, just a little nook or corner where they can relax and express their creativity can go a long way. You can decorate it with art done by the kids, like a kind of showcase of their creative outputs, or place a cozy rug and a few cushions on the floor for their quiet time.
Photo: @happynomadsouls
There are still so many great ideas out there for designing a stylish and kid-friendly home, the key is to find the right balance between style and functionality. With a little creativity, a splash of humour, and some planning, it is possible to create a space that is both beautiful and safe for you and your children. So, go ahead and let your imagination run wild – the possibilities are endless!
Stay Sparky!
]]>More and more, I find myself feeling stressed because I don’t seem to be able to finish my planned tasks on time because of various distractions. Throughout the day I am rushing from left to right, buzzing around like a bee, yet, at the end of the day I got very little done! And when I try to enjoy my most treasured time with the kids in the evening, my mind keeps drifting off to the “unfinished business” that is haunting me like a ghost. I am sure many parents are facing the same challenge, so I tried to look for some hacks and tips on better time management for parents.
Those who work from home must be familiar with the challenge of juggling kids, house chores, and meal preps while trying to put in a few solid hours of video conferences and email correspondences. This article suggests several ways to segment bigger tasks into more manageable sizes, or sort tasks based on time requirements or urgency. But one helpful and easy tip I think can be effective is to minimize distractions from social media and the internet by keeping my browser closed while working. This can definitely help save some time for more important tasks so that I can cross off more from my to-do list and get to my kids sooner!
How many times has my phone pinged with notifications of alerts, emails, and text messages from the moment I wake up in the morning until I go to bed? Looking at my phone became the first and last thing I do every day, both times while in bed. We keep worrying about screen time for the kids, yet we, as adults, seem to be more addicted to our mobile devices than they are! Maybe I need some radical changes in my lifestyle to keep this phone addiction in check. A friend of mine recently told me that he actually only looks at his text messages at designated times during the day and he checks his emails only a few times a day. If anyone needs to reach him urgently, they can always pick up the phone and give him a call! Actually, this makes a lot of sense because I get distracted numerous times by incoming text messages (both personal and work-related) during the day, but I can perfectly reply to them an hour or two later, or I noticed a new email that just came in and dropped whatever I was doing to go check it.
As for the chores that need to be done around the house, we can also lower our standard by a few notches and go for some imperfections! 😉 Even the home-organizing guru, Marie Kondo, also recently admits that her home with 3 young kids is a mess! But to make life easier and a household that is simple to maintain, the key is to be organized. If everything has its own place in the home, it can be easily found and put away at all times, this way less effort is spent on searching and cleaning up. This is also a good way to cultivate good habits in your kids from a young age. Soon, you can delegate more to the little ones and they can help you with simple yet necessary chores such as putting away clean laundry or cleaning up their own rooms.
I think all these tips call for a certain degree of self-discipline and determination. But, hey, I would do anything to spend more quality time with the kiddos with my undivided attention.
Stay Sparky!
]]>When I was growing up, I remember we had a few pets at home (a few goldfish and a couple of birds) but sadly none of them lived very long nor did I manage to develop any significant bond with them. My parents were never really conscious of the real benefits pets can have on the emotional development of their children since they never grew up with pets. I think they got them for me and my siblings as some form of companionship because they were both working long hours. We were not involved in choosing our pets, nor were we ever taught the responsibility to properly take care of them. Our babysitter would end up taking care of them in addition to taking care of us! So, I basically had to learn everything about having pets when my husband and I started our own little family.
Although I really like animals in general, the idea of having a pet never entered my mind until our kids were born. Apart from not having any first-hand experience in handling animals, I also didn’t know what kind of pet would be most suitable for a family with young kids. For many years our eldest daughter has been asking us frequently if she could have a dog. I didn’t feel confident taking care of a puppy while my only experience in animal care was to sprinkle food into a fish tank! But our little girl was persistent with her request and one year, right before her birthday, she wrote us a long letter sincerely asking for a puppy as her birthday present. In her letter, she explained why she wanted a puppy, researched several breeds of dogs that are most suitable as family pets, and how she would do her share to take care of her new friend. My husband and I were so touched by her maturity and determination that we gave in and started our search for our new furry family member.
On our journey to finding our pet, we looked through the list of breeds our daughter suggested and narrowed it down to the one we liked the most. To learn more about the nature of this breed of dog, we found a friend who has one and we paid him a visit to see his pet to let the children interact with him. Five minutes into our visit our little daughter’s eyes were swollen shut and her nose wouldn’t stop running! My heart broke when I saw our elder child cry because her dream of having a puppy was shattered by her little sister’s allergy to this breed of dog!
But we did not let one allergic incident deter us from finding the best pet for our kids! We would like to see if our little daughter was allergic to all dog breeds, or only some of them. So, armed with some antihistamine in my bag for our little one (just in case), the whole family went to a dog adoption day organized by a dog rescue association. We let the girls play with various puppies until we found a really sweet 10-week-old puppy that we all liked the minute we saw her. Our younger daughter was holding the puppy and petting her while we observed, looking for any allergic reactions triggered by the puppy. To our most pleasant surprise, there was none! Just to be safe, the dog rescue association suggested we foster the puppy for a week to make sure our little one truly has no allergic issues before we formally adopt her.
Pepper has been with us ever since and she’s the princess of the family! Our elder daughter has lived up to her promise and takes excellent care of her. With proper guidance and preparation, I think having pets can definitely help our kids to be more empathetic and caring. For me, it feels like I get to have another chance to truly bond with our family pet and that it is never too late to learn how to take care of one!
Stay Sparky!
Have you ever tried to make a gingerbread house from scratch? It might sound challenging, but if you go slow and start small, I am sure anyone can build one with relative success! One of the reasons I LOVE Christmas is the lovely smell of spices and ginger in the holiday cookies and desserts. It is the time of the year that I go into a baking binge and as a result, our entire home is constantly smelling like a bakery. Just the other night, one of my daughters gave me a big hug before going to bed, and she said I smelled like gingerbread! Maybe it was because I was baking an industrial amount of gingerbread house panels enough to make 14 complete houses of various sizes and designs!
A few years ago, I was a bit ambitious and tried my hands at building a gingerbread house from scratch. Instead of buying the ready-made kits with all the wall panels cut and baked for you, I like to bake my own. This way, I can find the house design I like from the internet or tweak it a bit to my liking instead of having to stick to the “standard” house from the kits, and I get to build a different house design every year! After a few fails, I finally found the perfect recipe for baking the walls and roofs of the house that are both sturdy to build with and yummy to eat (I bake also the bits and scraps of the dough and the entire family would be munching on them while we decorated)! The consistency of the “glue” is also key to keeping the house together, so here is the best gingerbread house glue I came across that is pretty much foolproof!
Then, COVID happened just when we wanted to host our first gingerbread house decorating party, so we turned it into a virtual one. I baked all the panels and gathered some candies, packed them all to make my own kit, and have them delivered to friends. We connected online and had a virtual party with each family building their own house at home and it was a success! Since then, more and more friends of mine and our kids’ friends are requesting “The Kit” every Christmas, that is how I ended up baking 14 houses this year!! It is hard work, but also SO satisfying to see everyone enjoying this annual activity. It has become one of the highlights of the year!
If you have smaller kids at home, you can also take this challenge down a notch and bake some sugar cookies for them to decorate. A nice and simple method is to make an icing sugar glaze and dip the cookie surface in it, while the glaze is still wet decorate the top with sprinkles and let dry. For older kids with better motor skills, you can move on to piping colourful royal icing onto fancier cookie shapes. Or you can make festive stained-glass cookies with the kids’ favorite candies. Why not host a cookie decorating party and invite the children’s besties to come to get sugar-high together? The kiddos can have so much fun and each of them gets to bring home their proudly decorated cookies to show their parents!
If baking is not your cup of tea or you prefer not to have sugar temptations standing around in the house for the entire holiday season, you can build a little Christmas village from cardboard, cartons, or other recycled materials. I am sure the kids will love to decorate these little houses just as much.
Have a Merry and Sparky Christmas!
Stepping into December marks the beginning of my preparation for Christmas! We have been using the same Christmas ornaments and decorations for years and I would really love to give a refreshed look to our home this year. However, as I try to be more environmentally responsible in my daily life, I would also like to be more conscious of how I celebrate special occasions such as Christmas. While looking for inspiration on Christmas decorations at home and taking stock of what we have in storage, I found out that there is actually so much we can do to make our holiday season a more sustainable one with existing materials at hand.
We renounced the use of a real Christmas tree more than 10 years ago and have been taking out our plastic version year after year. Yes, it is made of plastic, but we intend to use it for many more years to come so I think it is better than chopping off a new tree every year. Through the years, the only decoration we have updated is the Christmas lights. We have switched to LED lights because they consume less energy and can last much longer, it is especially important this year with the hike in global energy prices.
As for the tree ornaments and Christmas home decorations we have been using, I got so many wonderful ideas for repurposing some of them to give them a new look. To add to these “refreshed” decorations, I plan to make some new ones together with my kids. I found these salt dough ornaments super simple yet give an elegant Nordic vibe! There are so many Christmas craft ideas that we can make and can easily involve our kids too. I am especially inspired by this online book by Christine Leech and Emma Friedlander-Collins where you can find many eco-friendly Christmas craft projects using recycled materials, and it is free to download! My favorite project in the book is the minimal wreath made from a springform baking pan and a cardboard box.
The success of a sustainable holiday season also really depends on how we manage to minimize the use of disposable gift wraps and excessive packaging. This year, I am going to try out some reusable gift wrap ideas that are both really chic and eco-friendly! What’s so nice about these reusable gift-wrapping methods is that you are actually giving your loved ones a second gift, the gift container itself! I have been scavenging vintage shops and thrift shops scouting for interesting fabrics or items of clothing that I can transform with minimum effort into gift wrap materials!
Of course, it takes some extra effort and commitment to have a more sustainable Christmas, but with the earth’s limited resources being depleted at such an alarming speed I do feel that we need to do everything we can to slow it down. No matter how small our efforts seem to be, if everyone puts in their share, we can still make a difference.
Stay Sparky!
]]>Whether your family tradition is to spend Thanksgiving together in North America or gather to celebrate the fall harvest in Asia. This event usually also marks the beginning of a super hectic period that will only end with the arrival of the new year! So, inevitably one might feel a bit stressed when planning the event that kickstarts the holiday season, and it is easy to overlook the true meaning of this family gathering while you are busy checking off items on your to-do list.
Let’s stop for a second, take a deep breath, and prioritize a bit! Kids are always at the top of my priority list so let me start with them first! This is the best time of the year to teach them about the importance of being inclusive and thankful for what we have. So, let’s find some simple Thanksgiving activities to do together with them that can get the message across. How about creating the Thanksgiving centerpiece together with the kids so that they can be involved in the preparation while learning about Thanksgiving, AND you get the holiday decoration done at the same time? This is definitely taking multi-tasking to a whole new level! :D
OK, now that the decorations are taken care of, it’s time to tackle the menu for the gathering. After spending the last two Thanksgivings under the threat of the pandemic, we are all just too happy to be able to get the extended family together again, so I am sure everyone will enjoy any food served as long as we can share it together! So, to lower the stress level by a few notches, instead of the traditional Thanksgiving dishes which are usually quite time-consuming to prepare, perhaps we can consider introducing some less conventional dishes to the table this year. With the Fall harvests just behind us, there are still so many great ingredients and simple recipes we can consider, and they can be just as tasty and impressive to please your guests. Who knows? Maybe these dishes will make it to the annual Thanksgiving table from now on!
How about some after-dinner family activities to extend the Thanksgiving mood? For many families, it could be the first time in a long while since they had their last gathering. There must be so much to update each other about and so many things one can be thankful for. It would be nice to pass around some small cards and pens for everyone to write down some thanksgiving greetings or little anecdotes of thanks. At the end of the evening, all notes will be placed in a Thanksgiving jar with the year written on it. This could be a family tradition and a time capsule of thankful thoughts that can be carried forward for years to come. No matter what kind of gathering you are planning to have, it should be just as enjoyable to prepare for as the event itself! Don’t miss out on the precious moments of “now” in search of a perfect “gathering tomorrow”!
Happy Thanksgiving, Stay Sparky!
]]>Photo: @caitlin_gradl
I remember vividly the day I came home from the hospital after giving birth to our first daughter. Before leaving the maternity ward in the hospital, we were only armed with the basic skills of changing diapers and bathing our baby. After our arrival home, my husband and I looked at each other and felt so lost: “now what do we do next with this bundle of joy?” We were basically waiting for our baby to give us the cue to get us started with the daily routines as a little family unit. We were living in Italy with no immediate family around to help us, nor did we have any experienced friends to give us advice on handling a newborn. So, we had to learn on the job and relied on each other for support (including jumping into the shower with our baby still fully clothed, covered in poopoo - long story!). Thinking back, although those first few months gave us an excellent opportunity to bond with our baby, it would have been much less stressful if there were someone around who could answer all the questions I had about the baby or my own physical and emotional condition.
Growing up in Hong Kong, I have a rough (but biased) idea of what Chinese postpartum confinement is like. My knowledge of it mainly came from the first-hand experience of my grandma who gave birth to 11 babies (yup, double digits!) in the 1930s to 40s and went through confinement almost annually! She told me about “horror stories” which involved consuming chicken soup and at least 10 eggs per day for 30 days, and not being allowed to wash her hair nor leave her bed for the entire duration! So, when it was my turn to enter motherhood, I really considered myself “lucky” that I was in Europe and was not pressured to go through the confinement like my sisters or friends in Hong Kong did. But in reality, modern-day postpartum confinement is not so “unrealistic”, it takes a practical approach that suits our current lifestyles a lot more. Interestingly, there are so many similarities between confinement practices in different cultures. The general idea is to have other more experienced women help the new mother to physically heal, bond with her baby, and take this time to calm her emotions caused by the hormonal changes in her body. All this can be a super positive start for both mother and child on their life journey together. As this article rightly points out, some women might find this experience a bit overwhelming (thus my grandma’s traumatized anecdotes). But I think if given a second chance, I would like to have this precious experience and take advantage of the advice given to me by experienced mothers, to gain more insights on how to better take care of myself and my baby from day 1.
Confinement or not, postpartum care is still an important healing process for every woman. We all know that the first few months after having your baby are really tough physically and emotionally, no matter how many babies you’ve had (ask my grandma and she would agree!) If you are welcoming your second or third baby, being well-prepared for this period is especially helpful when you also need to take care of the baby’s older siblings. It is too easy to put the children’s needs first and ignore the warning signs of your own body and mind, so keep that freezer stocked, leave the dishes/laundry/housework for later, and enjoy your bonding moments with your baby (and kids)!
Stay Sparky!
]]>It’s time to get your creative juice running again coz Halloween’s just around the corner! After 2 years of “alternative” Halloween celebrations, we can finally celebrate this festival in the traditional way! Since this year’s Halloween is on a Monday, we basically have the entire weekend to immerse in the spooky mood! What kind of fun activities can we do with the kiddos on a Halloween weekend?
While growing up, we used to hang out regularly with our extended family at our grandparents’ home. One year during Halloween, together with my sisters and cousins, we created a “haunted room” for the adults to visit. We spent the entire evening decorating the room to create this scary experience for our visitors! We got fake spiderwebs, scary masks, black cloth draping over lamps, and of course face paints to turn ourselves into Frankenstein, Dracula, Zombies, and other spooky characters. One of us would be the tour guide to lead the adults to different stations in the room where they could find kid-sized “corpses” and skeletons strewn on the floor or hanging from the furniture. It was so much fun for both adults and kids! Why not turn your home into a haunted house experience for the kids and their friends? Or on a smaller scale, younger kids can build their own scaled haunted house with recycled materials.
Then there are the costumes to think about. With an entire weekend to prepare for Halloween, DIY costumes should not be too big a challenge for handy parents and their kids. Nothing beats the sense of pride when children show off the original one-of-a-kind costume that they made by themselves or with their parents! Take a look at this website for some cool and fun homemade costumes. Don’t worry if you are not handy with a sewing machine or needles and thread, there are some no-sewing required costume ideas too! I wish I had access to these great ideas when I had to make my daughter’s first Halloween costume, she was so upset because I dressed her up as Kermit the Frog instead of a cute spooky witch!
Last but not least, a Haunted House experience cannot be concluded without a visit to the dining table to feast on some delicious yet scary snacks to settle the kids’ nerves after the spooky tour. Care for some bloody severed witch’s “fingers”? Or slurp on some muddy punch with an “eye” or two swimming in the cup? I am all for creating a fun party for the parents too, so some Halloween-themed cocktails would be most welcome after we have put in so much effort to make sure the little ones have the best Halloween weekend. So, bottoms up!
To celebrate Halloween, Bombol has created a Sparky filter on Instagram. Come and check it out with your mobile phone!
Stay Spooky!
]]>September is here! The kids are all back in school, have settled down to their daily routines, and parents can take a break from trying to occupy their time with Summer activities. Yet with school, comes all kinds of challenges for the little ones and sometimes also for the parents. The children are once again immersed in the school’s social environment where they learn how to interact with one another, and they are facing all kinds of situations among peers that they need to resolve. That’s when sometimes unfortunate incidents like discrimination or bullying happen. As parents, it is hard not to feel protective of our little ones when we learn that they are facing bullies at school.
I remember when one of our daughters was in grade school, she came home one day and told me that for over a month her classmate was being mean to her and asking other friends to gang up against her. Although my first instinct was to contact the school or even reach out to the parent of the bully, through personal experience, while growing up, I know it is important for my little girl to learn to deal with this situation by herself and I would only step in when absolutely necessary. When we were young, if we were going through some rough patches with school friends, we could take a break from the stress when we got home from school. But kids of this generation are prone to both online and in-person social atrocities - the bullying continues online, after school. It can haunt them through text messages and social media, subjecting them to a constant bombardment of cruel comments and snide remarks. There are a few things parents can do to help their kids navigate through this challenge, but I find it most important to give our kids the mental support they need. Family is always going to be the refuge they can escape to when things get tough.
I think for kids to effectively handle bullies at school, it is important that they understand the probable causes of this toxic behavior. Could the bully be acting out frustrations that were caused by an unhappy home life or lashing out due to a psychological complex of some sort? Actually, encouraging a sense of empathy in our children towards others might help them handle these negative experiences better. It is also handy to “arm” our little ones with a couple of clever comebacks to fight off those nasty comments and end the exchange right there and then. A well-worded (but civilized) reply can catch the bully speechless and get your kid out of the situation.
I can imagine that a child might be reluctant to connect with new friends after having been a victim of bullying. They might have lost confidence in themselves or in others. Yet we need to encourage them to get to know new friends because childhood friendships are so important for the kids in every way from developing social skills to lowering the likelihood of depression. When my daughter was suffering from her ordeal at school, apart from getting pep talks from us, it was most fortunate that she had the mental support of her best friend. She knew that someone her age knew exactly what she was going through, even though they did not go to the same school. And she would reciprocate this support when her friend experienced friendship issues in her school sometime later.
We might not be able to be physically by their side to help them navigate the social challenges at school but giving them mental stability from home and support from their friends can help them overcome any situation like a champ!
Stay Sparky!
]]>I still remember the sense of accomplishment when our firstborn was finally sleeping through the night at the age of 8 months! Those long months of sleep deprivation and numerous nights of trial and error just to make her sleep a bit longer, I must admit that was one of the toughest periods I have ever lived. We tried everything, from holding her to sleep and then putting her into her crib as gently as you would handle a bomb, to letting her cry it out in the middle of the night while I cried with her outside her room, to sprinkling numerous pacifiers around her so she could grab a replacement anytime hers fell out of her mouth while she slept! We thought the battle was over once she stopped waking up in the night and that our precious baby is finally giving us back our restful nights.
The peace was unfortunately short-lived, and our nightly battles began again when she was a toddler. I am sure many parents have gone through this phase when their 2-year-old refused to go to bed or got out of their own beds to hop into yours. Apart from feeling exhausted after an entire night of fencing off little arms and legs in your bed, we also wonder if the little one is getting enough sleep at all. How come so many toddlers are having these sleep regressions suddenly and how can we help them?
As your child grows, they might not need 2 naps a day anymore or could go to sleep at a slightly later hour in the evening. Unique to every toddler’s needs, there seems to be a delicate balance between naps and night-time slumber. Another reason could be since they have recently moved into their new “big-kid” bed and can get in and out of bed by themselves, they want to take advantage of this newfound freedom and don’t want to miss out on family activities even after bedtime!
Toddler-years are also prone to nightmares and night terrors that keep the poor little ones awake at night and afraid to go to sleep alone. According to this article, children at the age of two might not yet be able to tell the difference between dreams and reality. It must be very distressing for them when it happens and of course, they would prefer to sleep with you in your bed and get cuddled to sleep without having to worry about “monsters” or being alone in the scary darkness.
From my own experience and the numerous parenting websites I visited, setting a good sleep routine is a good start. Every age has an ideal sleep amount and that changes as the child grows older, so it would be best to slowly adapt the sleeping schedule according to their changing needs. I also came across the method of Progressive Muscle Relaxation to help children, and adults, fall asleep. This link also suggests the script appropriate for children from different age groups, up to teenage years. By helping the body to relax, it can also relax the mind and help it release the anxiety built up in the child, be it from a particularly exciting day of activities, overcoming a high fever, or after having a scary nightmare.
We only want the best for our children, and that also includes the best sleep quality they can get! Sleep regression in toddlers is definitely something we cannot ignore. Hope the above information could be useful to help you and your little one to get some restful nights!
Goodnight and Stay Sparky!
]]>Have you ever found yourself playing the referee of a heated argument between your kids? They don’t seem to be able to get along on anything and they are fighting over the tiniest thing just because they want to get on each other’s nerves. Our daughters are 2.5 years apart and since very young they have this strange love-hate relationship that is quite volatile at times. They would be playing and laughing together at one moment and then arguing at the next. It looks like they are testing and pushing each other’s boundaries constantly. As this article rightly pointed out that siblings are the children’s first experience in learning how to handle social interactions with peers and the effects can be long-lasting, well into their adulthood.
Photo by @pamelarescende
I am sure so many of us are trying to raise our kids in the most equal way possible, but it is achievable only to a certain extent. We need to take into consideration the difference in interests, personality, and circumstances in which the siblings are growing up. Our oldest daughter sometimes complains that her little sister always gets to do things at an earlier age than she did: getting her ears pierced, being allowed to go out with friends alone, or trying her first coffee all at a younger age than her! I guess she is right, being the firstborn to inexperienced and sometimes paranoid parents can be hard and I do feel apologetic about it! It is normal and acceptable to feel disappointed or upset and we are there to help them understand.
Photo Credit: @xo_dynaa
But disagreements among siblings can never be avoided, the tricky part is to know when to intervene and when to let them resolve the arguments by themselves. In the past 2 years when school kept switching to online learning, our kids found themselves stuck at home for prolonged periods. They were fighting so much to the point that I was at a loss on how to resolve the constant conflicts and that they themselves couldn’t stand it anymore either! One day when I came home from work, they told me that they have looked it up on the internet to see how to fight less and that the methods seem to be working!! I am super proud of them for acknowledging the problem and for being proactive about finding a solution (of course the truce was short-lived, but it was the effort that counted!)
Photo Credit: @koryssa.anne
After the conflict is over and everyone has calmed down, I try to find the right moment to remind the kids of the unconditional love and support one should always get from their siblings and parents. When they become adults, no matter what life throws at them, they will still have a close relationship with each other and warm arms to turn to.
Stay Sparky!
]]>While our kids’ childhoods are filled more and more with electronic devices of which most of which are connected to the internet, they could be exposed to a lot of unwelcomed attention from predators hiding behind fake identities in games chatrooms, apps, or social media. I understand that as technology advances, it is inevitable that they start using various devices at a much younger age and on a more frequent basis than our generation. When we were kids, our parents were warning us about the potential danger when playing outside the house or going on a grocery run to the corner store, and therefore taught us to avoid talking to strangers and stay alert about who could be following us home. The same now applies to how we should educate our kids about internet safety and how to be “street smart” when surfing the internet.
I have always been aware of the potential danger we are all exposed to when we have an online presence, but I became extra concerned after listening to this interview of Roo Powell, the journalist who exposed herself as a potential victim to internet predators by posing as a teenager on gaming sites and social media platforms. Roo Powell’s investigation into the ugly side of social media rings alarm bells for all concerned parents around the world. I always thought that as long as our kids don’t have an account on social media platforms they should be safe from catfishes and scammers, but apparently, these individuals can still get to our little ones through well-placed comments on innocent games like coloring apps!
Another threat for this generation of kids is cyberbullying. The average age of children owning their personal smartphone or tablet gets younger every minute, very often thanks to the social isolation brought on by the pandemic. The social dynamics between individuals are significantly different when communicating through text messages or comments on someone else's social media posts compared to face-to-face interactions. One might feel like they are entitled to use harsh comments or cruel criticisms when hiding behind the “safety” of their screens without concern for others’ feelings. This can be very damaging to the delicate emotions of kids when they are still trying to grasp social skills in the more traditional way, let alone online!
So, it is up to us parents to educate our little ones at a young age how to navigate the dangerous territory called the Internet! Apart from the gradual introduction of technology when they are small, it might be useful to find out as much as possible about the potential dangers they could face and then slowly teach them how to handle them one by one. An important piece of advice I came across from various sources that talk about internet safety for children is to keep an open dialogue with your kids. So that they can come to you whenever they encounter someone or some situation online that bothers them.
Stay Sparky and vigilant!
]]>Summer is officially here, are you going to take some time off and take a vacation? Have you planned your family’s Summer holiday down to the minute, or do you prefer to be spontaneous and let your moods guide you? If you are still looking for inspiration, let’s explore some holiday ideas for 2022!
I know many of us are itching to travel again, and the best moment to get away with the entire family would be the summer when kids’ holidays are the longest. But airlines and hospitality businesses around the world have only just started to operate with higher capacity, so services both in terms of availability and efficiency might not yet be at the optimal level. Actually, this Forbes article paints a pretty grim picture of what it’s like to travel this Summer! For those who are still determined to brave the unknown, it would be wise to research a bit more on some travel hacks that might help you navigate these unknown waters in the best ways possible.
After considering all the things that could possibly go wrong during one’s trip, the idea of staying put and enjoying a relaxing Summer doesn’t sound too bad after all. But we have all explored the local attractions nearby already since we were given plenty of time (2 entire years to be precise) to do so! Some creativity and imagination are certainly necessary to get the ball rolling, here are a long bucket list of Summer activities for your inspiration and I am sure there is something for everyone!
Nothing beats cooking up a storm in the kitchen with the kids during a long Summer day! Frozen fruit lollies, refreshing salads, and maybe some homemade ice-cream? Gather a few little friends together and the kiddies can have an ad hoc cooking class, making fun and yummy snacks from kids-friendly recipes. I also love snuggling up with the kids for a movie marathon while munching on some homemade caramel popcorn, this is my favorite recipe!
Summer should be a season to slow down and spend some quality time with the family. So, no matter what we decide to do this Summer, enjoy the precious moments with your loved ones and regenerate yourselves both mentally and physically!
Have a Sparky Summer!
]]>Let’s not let the stereotypical role of a father mislead us! Men are great caregivers, and they can do just as splendid a job in raising the kids as moms. Some dads seem to have this magical touch to make the most mundane things fun and exciting for kids. I love these computer-edited photos a dad took of his kids when he spends time at home that shows all the fun he has with (and of) his kids! When given the chance, many fathers would rise up to the occasion and take on any chore given to them if it gives them the chance to bond with their children.
I remember when our first daughter was born, my husband was a freelance designer working from home, and he proved to be invaluable to me and our baby in those first few months. Our little one was so relaxed and content in her bouncer that she tended to have her bowel movement whenever she was in it! Due to my lack of skills with the diaper, there would be frequent “vertical explosions” on her back all the way up to her hair! Now, as a new mom, how do you hold your screaming baby with one hand and peel off her onesie with the other without accidentally dropping her or getting her face full of “liquid gold”? At this moment, hubby would come to the rescue by dropping whatever he was doing and taking our baby into the shower with him so I could hose both of them down while he hugged her close and kept her calm. My hero who came to our rescue deserved a gold medal!
Photo: @disasterswithdad & @ellijunior
There are also many dads who are the primary caregivers for their children, and that is certainly not an easy task. Although they are perfectly capable of taking on this role just like their female counterparts, there are so many stigmas and challenges they must face. There might be a misconception from the grandparents’ generation that men who choose to stay at home with their children are not career-minded or not “masculine” enough. So many social gatherings that involve children are usually attended by mothers, so dads might feel under-represented or isolated. Yet, in reality, stay-at-home dads contribute so much to their children and family but they just don’t get as much recognition as fellow full-time mothers. The special bond that a child has with their parents should not be a privilege reserved only for mothers, but also for fathers too!
Happy Father’s Day to all Sparky Dads!
]]>Ever since we become parents, we face difficult questions and decisions from day one, all without absolute right or wrong answers: breastfeed or formula? Sleep training or co-sleeping? Disposable or reusable diapers? When you thought you have gotten through one important growth stage’s worth of questions you are just bombarded with the next stage - it’s like you are in a never-ending game of Candy Crush! Once you have survived the initial couple of years of your baby’s life focusing on their physical well-being, you are now on the next level of the game: Parenting.
I imagine the style of parenting is much influenced by your own experience while growing up. We might want to avoid making the same mistakes as our parents did when we were kids. There is also the social influence of what should be the ideal way of bringing up one’s children. Information is only a click away so modern parents like to do all the research they can get and then make up their own minds, but most of the time due to the overflow of information it only gets more confusing the more we read! Two polarizing parenting styles have emerged in the past couple of decades: Helicopter parenting and Free-Range parenting.
Helicopter parents tend to keep their children on a super short leash and are extremely involved with everything their kids do, sometimes even until their children reach adulthood. I am sure in most cases we do it out of love and want to make sure they have the smoothest-sailing youth possible and a great head start in life when they are older. But too much attention and control on the kids can have adverse effects, which in turn can lead to psychological issues for the little ones. It might not be obvious to the parents involved because they are so deep into it, so sometimes it helps to take a step back and reflect on ourselves if we are heading that way.
Another extreme would be Free-Range parenting, which has the opposite philosophy of Helicopter parents. Free-Range parents let their children develop independence at a relatively early stage and tend not to impose much structure on their kids’ learning experiences. The little ones develop problem-solving skills and self-confidence through their daily interactions with others. However, some might argue that parents could jeopardize their children’s safety in certain situations when they are not ready for the challenges at such a tender age.
There is of course no one-size-fits-all parenting formula. I guess it all boils down to the child’s individual development, intellect, and personality to determine the most suitable parenting style for them. However, what I find really true is that there are some basic parenting tips that are suitable for ALL kids and that moderation is key to everything, including parenting.
Stay Sparky!
]]>Did you have a nice Mother’s Day celebration this year, with breakfast in bed, flowers, hand-drawn cards, and the works? When the kiddies are small, they are so enthusiastic about celebrating the day with you that you can hear them in the kitchen busy cooking up something special at 6 am. You try to calm your urge to go see what mess they are making or not to worry about how much cleaning up would be required after the celebration! To be really honest, I think many of us, mothers, have this secret wish to celebrate our special day by just sleeping in and having a non-eventful relaxing day!
Photo courtesy of @suelen_cantelli
It was only after becoming a mom of two little girls did I realize the mental and physical strength required to provide and maintain a stable and safe haven for them to grow up. I am a natural-born worrier (not warrior, oh how I wish!) and I like to plan ahead with everything so that I have to worry “less”, which I think in the end makes me worry more? So, getting all the daily routines in place, and making sure birthday parties and extra-curricular activities run smoothly as planned, took up a lot of energy both mentally and physically. Having a full-time job AND building a start-up company while doing all that certainly did not make things easier, especially during our daughters’ infant and toddler years. Thinking back on those days, they were my driving force, the thought of getting huge welcome hugs from them when I got home from work helped me get through every day. They made me feel like I had superpowers to keep everything going despite how exhausted I felt!
I think of my mom every Mother’s Day, of how she always put her husband’s and her children’s needs before her own. The lost opportunity to pursue her own interests or having her personal time took a toll on her years later. Realizing maybe many fellow mothers are heading towards the same path makes me wonder if this is the only way to being a “good” mother? Is there a more balanced approach where we can turn this into a WIN-WIN situation? I can’t agree more with this article written by Kelsey Borresen on how good mothers don’t need to be martyrs. Mothers of our generation are being piled on (both by ourselves and society in general) with a lot more expectations to be qualified as a “good” mom. The feeling of failure or guilt is overwhelming whenever we don’t manage to live up to those expectations.
It probably takes big efforts to break through this sense of duty and guilt whenever we want to put ourselves first for just one second and take a breather from it all. But it is also essential that we take care of ourselves to rejuvenate our mind and body from the demanding daily tasks, so we can be there for our kids whenever they need us most. In my case, I would like to also set a good example for my daughters to be a “balanced” mom who takes care of both her family AND herself. Hopefully, if they become mothers one day, their idea of being a “good” mother would be a less sacrificial one.
Stay Sparky, Moms!
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